till the sun turns black

i borrowed this picture from a blog that i have begun to read most every morning. farmama. she is amazing! i love her thoughts and wisdom. her regard for the land, love for her family. she's such an inspiration to me!

it's been prodding at me to figure out what i really want out of life. i have spent several hours in the car pondering, and i have some ideas.

when i grow up (ahem) i want to be a professor. of anthropology. i want to write interesting (to me) things and publish them for other nerdy people who want to understand human nature and its crazy tendencies. i want to spend too much time reading books. and spend too much time with my family and friends. i want to have too many nieces, nephews, and godchildren, cluttering up my space and messing up my cleanliness. i want to spend my days slowly. in awe of all the small things around me. growing things. teaching piano lessons. i am really excited that i get to start now.

i am sitting here in this little coffee shop, in my old home town, reading pete rollins' blog. mmmhmmm, good stuff :) i am so in love with his brain.... anyway. the september 1st post was really interesting, speaking of love, being in love, and what it really means to love someone purely for who they are. it sort of reminds me of how i think god feels about us. in a microcosmic sort of way, of course.

"If someone asks why you love them there is something obscene in the mere listing of traits. For while these may contribute to your connection with the other, love addresses something deeper. It is attached to a property unlike all other properties. I may like you because you are attractive, interesting and creative, but I love you because you are you. Because there is something excessive about you that emanates from the totality of your attributes but which cannot be reduced to them."

similarly, where grace is concerned, we tend to look for ways to earn the love of our father. ways to make it worth his while. and the funniest part of that is that it's akin to trying to name the thing that makes you love your soul mate. the children of your loved ones. your best friend. nigh impossible, says i. it's the warmth. the little tingle that brings the smile to your face. the recognition of that thing that binds your souls. like breathing deeply in the morning.

i love it that he thinks of me that way :) and i adore seeing the evidence of that alive in my life. be blessed today, beloved.