crosshairs

my joy is to rediscover who i am.
my joy is to decide for myself what i will be.
where i will go.
what i will do.

i feel wide-eyed.
the excitement is mixed with an overwhelming dread.
a healthy dread.
the dread of a woman with nothing and everything to lose.

but my true joy is in the constant.
for the first time in my life, some things are constant.
i have a church.
i'm friends with my family.
i have a home (it's too expensive, but i'm in love with it).
i have friends that want to keep me.
god and i have agreed to stay together. this time for keeps.

i exhort you to find joy in your constants.
excitement in your knowns.