no more diamonds.

i've begun this several times. just watching the blinking cursor over and over. waiting for the words to come. i'm giving up. i'll just push forward....

the trip here was smooth. only one little hiccup at the very end with the miami to santa cruz flight lasting longer than expected, causing me to miss my flight from santa cruz to cochabamba. i have to tell you, by the time i finally arrived at the airport here, i was so happy to know i hadn't dreamed it all before, that i couldn't contain myself.

the very first thing i did was call marcelo and ale to come get me. the second thing was to pile my giant assortment of baggage (that all made it here this time!!!) at brazilian cafe and order jugo de maracuya con agua.

the greatest ridiculousness of culture shock is how often you find yourself certain that everything is fine and you are adjusting perfectly. inevitably, moments later you become a babbling idiot. i tried to think of good examples, but they're all too humiliating. take my word for it. just think of me getting lost looking for shower curtains in la cancha and forgetting the ENGLISH word for them.

all in all, i believe that my body and my brain are finally in agreement concerning where i am, as of some time this afternoon. i don't feel lost anymore. i don't wake up thinking i'm at home. or wondering how i got into barb's room. i smell things and see things that i remember. and best of all, i can have a meal with spanish speakers and actually carry on important conversations. i even saw my first full movie in spanish (alice in wonderland), and i didn't miss a thing language wise. like riding a bike.

so don't worry about me. it was one of the worst feelings i've ever felt when i had to go through security that morning, never wonder how deeply i carry you all in my heart. but that time seems far away now, thank goodness. and i have things to do.

here's a good story to finish. one of our best and brightest boys came to amy's house today and i got a chance to see him. he has such a beautiful smile and sweet spirit. he told me he was so glad i came back, and had been waiting to see me. when i gave him my number so he could call if he needed anything, he looked at me earnestly with sober eyes, and promised he would. i'm praying fervently for him to trust me. that's how he'll know. how he'll know that god wants him and cares for him. it will be wonderful to see him understand love.